Life?

teenchicagodreamer asked: Hawhawhaw Hi gweg! :3

hawHAW! hi vinny :~3

Every day it’s getting harder just to turn the page…

I guess this is my problem. Let go, man. Get a grip on yourself. It’s not the end of the world, just the end of what used to be mine. I’d go back, I’d make things right, if I could turn back time. But you know, that’s just how it goes. I can’t do anything about it. One day, i pray that time licks these wounds clean.

Thank you, tumblr. Thank you for being the one place I can say all the shit I can’t say anywhere else. Where I can admit my hypocrisies and vent my problems. My minuscule problems that I transform into fucking mountains. Right now, I have one follower on here. So thank you, follower, for reading all my crappy notes and poems. Are you even reading them? I don’t care. As long as you’re there. You unresponsive, nearly nonexistent therapist. That I can say these pointless rantings on here with only one person who may not even read it makes such a big difference to me. But if only… If only the people these rantings are about could read these. If only they could know how I really felt. If only she knew how fucked up I am, maybe she could help therapize me. I can’t remember the last time I felt brave, or confident. She took that all with her. If only…

Dear world,
I had my accident today,
That one you knew was coming.
I had to do something different,
because all I was doing was running.
All this just because
I was a little out of your range.
I never backed down, I stood my ground,
but you still asked me to change.
I tried to fight the system,
but it was too tough to beat.
So soon I’ll be what you all crave;
just another piece of meat.
Some will come running,
maybe some will cry.
But the rest of the world can be at ease,
breathing a relieving sigh.
It never seemed to matter
when all the others died.
Maybe, thought, they’ll learn,
through my own private suicide.
Because happiness seems to be
only what the world allows.
You can’t think for yourself,
get on your knees and bow.
There’s so much pain and suffering
so the rest of us can thrive.
So I’ll make this as painful as possible,
ripped to shreds and skinned alive.
So when they find me here,
they’ll find it written on my hand.
In sweaty, black ink written,
‘Do you understand?’.
I’ll never stay here,
in this world of sin.
This is my goodbye.
Dear world, You win.

How many times has this happened now? Four? Five? Under a year, too. Yeah, you like to tie strings from my extremities and make me dance. You enjoy salting my wounds. It’s all you do. Because it’s all just a big game to you. Well if it’s a game, then I’m a loser. I am amazed at how all this is ok in your eyes. How you think I’ve just forgotten, and have what I need. I don’t need love, I need morphine. Just to take it all away. I don’t feel anymore; I think I’m dead. The curtain falls down, but the show goes on. I look to the stars, and they all sing along. I wish I just didn’t care anymore.

There must be something wrong with me. My world Keeps moving on, and I cling to past pleasures. Fill the void with “I don’t care”, yeah, but it’s all the same to me. What the fuck is wrong with me? Will someone answer me? Everyday it comes back, like it just wants to tease me. I can’t even do anything about it. I fucking die just from the thought. Yeah, I don’t care. I wish.

Twitter sucks. It has to be the most boring social networking site I’ve ever used.

Fuck this scene.

The sun begins to set,
and it creates a mixture of orange and pink in the sky.
This array of colors seems to relflect the appearance
of the rest of this unknown yet so strangely familiar place.
The lake that stands in front of me is calm,
and I gaze across it to see the beautiful trees on the other side.
The area is placid, not a sound is being made.
Bury Me
The exterior beauty of this place is striking,
everthing seems as it should be.
However, something is wrong.
This place is so serene, yet sickening.
As I look to my right, a girl is approaching.
She is stunning, beautiful in every way.
She approaches me and smiles a smile that
normally would be comforting.
Bury Me
My stomach twists, and my heart beats
ever faster with the confusion and exterior
beauty this place has to offer.
She extends her hand, gives me a gaze
that offers my hand to join.
Her smile stays, and this behavior seems almost
programmed in her nature.
I cannot express the multitude of
feelings racing through my body.
I extend my hands and gaze upon them,
my limbs shaking with a nervous fit.
I look to the girl, trying to find comfort.
I can see that she is not in control,
rather, something much larger has grasp
of this so perfect world.
Bury Me
I turn and run the opposite direction.
Down this worn road surrounded on both sides
by the well kept trees and bushes that
have the appearance of happiness and wealth.
The sun falls lower in the sky,
slightly darkening the area around me.
The pink in the sky fades to a purple.
I stop to look behind me,
and I see nothing but this so perfect world.
Bury Me
I feel sick to my stomach.
I look in all directions,
hoping desperately to see some way
out of this world.
I lift my head to the sky
with a tear down my cheek.
I silently ask ‘Why?’
But the world made not a sound.
Bury Me
As I bring my head down, I see the girl
once more standing in front of me.
She offers me a sickening smile that seems to say ‘welcome’.
My head becomes light, and panic sets in.
I fall to my knees in a feverish fit,
and tears come cascading down my face.
I lay forever trapped in this world
of unseen horrors.
Welcome to The Perfect.